The Krampus Awards

It’s that time of year again. Krampus time!


If you have no idea what I’m on about, although I’m not sure how that could be the case since Krampus is apparently HUGE this year, then it is all explained in last year’s post on the subject.

[td;lr: Krampus is a sort of like a Bizzaro-world Saint Nicholas who punishes naughty children around Christmas. Last year, I co-opted the idea to hand out some bad archaeology awards complete with punishments involving everything from being threatened with bells to being thrown into pools of black water.]

Since it was so well received – it’s back!

In the Christmas-Krampus round-up of bad archaeology in 2014, I am sure there are many, many individuals, organisations, or institutions that could have Krampus-based punishments metered out to them. However, this year, there will only be one. Because I have only had one nomination submitted to me. But, it has been submitted many, many times.


For those of you who’ve been out of the loop, earlier this month Greenpeace attempted to raise awareness of climate change. I say attempted, because what they actually achieved was significant damage to the ‘hummingbird’ one of the largest and most iconic features of the Nazca lines – a millennia old world heritage site in Peru. Damage that may be irreparable. There is good coverage of this story online, so if you haven’t read the details yet, you can go and be outraged now.

The damaged area of near the 'humminbird' highlighted in red.

The damaged area of near the ‘humminbird’ highlighted in red.

Oh and don’t worry – the irony of the Greenpeace sign has not been overlooked. When the activists walked across the protected site of white sand and black rocks to lay out their sign that said, “Time for change! The future is renewable.” it is truly remarkable that not one of them stopped to think, “The future is renewable – but the past is not.”

And so, Greenpeace, I say unto you, your activists, and anyone involved in this endeavour, especially including the as-yet-unnamed archaeologist who ‘advised’ you:

May the Krampus find you, taunt you with bells, shout horrible things at you, swat you with its birch branch, chain you up, and throw you all into its sack (there is space for everyone, it is like a TARDIS – a horrible evil TARDIS). Here, you shall sit in extreme discomfort while the Krampus carries you all away to its lair.

Once there – Oh, you didn’t think it was over yet, did you? – once there, I suspect many people would not feel too upset if you were then thrown into the pools of dark water that fill the hell-like world the Krampus inhabits, surrounded by endless fires. After which, you will of course be subject to constant swatting by ruten bundles and occasional nibbling-on by the Krampus.

I think what I’m getting at is… your actions were awful, and you should feel awful about them. If you don’t feel awful, I implore you to please take a long hard look at yourself and the people around you and attempt to understand even an iota of the outrage that has been generated by this sitation.

You knew better. Don’t even try to say that you didn’t, because the Krampus knows all. You knew better and yet you still went ahead with this unbelievably short-sighted stunt.

Shame on you, Greenpeace.


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